World of Pawncraft -003

I'm participating in a story-a-day challenge from a Reddit writing group. My story is based on this prompt.

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RICK HARRISON: Sometimes we get strange stuff that comes into the store; it's just one of those things that happens when you work on the Vegas strip [laughs]. But even I'd never seen anything quite like this guy.

[INTERIOR: Gold & Silver Pawn Shop]

RICK: Hey, what can I help you with today?

MAURG THE DESTROYER: I have many goods that I wish to sell. I need gold pieces to purchase a weapon that will destroy the dark lich Chellios!

RICK: Okay... ummm, let's see what you've got.

MAURG: This is a double-headed +5 flaming vorpal axe of justice, crafted in the heart of a Dwarven mountain and weaved with Elvish spells. It has seen more war and blood than any creature living, and it is said that the possessor of this weapon will never fall in battle.

RICK: Okay... well... you were right about it having seen a lot of battles: it's in terrible shape. If you look here, you can see where the axehandle leather is starting to fray and come unwound. I don't know about any Elvish spells... and it looks like the steel is starting to rust and pit at the edges.

MAURG: Because I have slain many demons and hewn many heads with it!

RICK: But did you clean the weapon after you did that?

MAURG: ...

RICK: And... I mean, to be honest, it really doesn't matter how many demons or Dwarves you've slain with it--

MAURG: I have slain not one of the Dwarven race! They are my allies in my quest to rid Darkmount of evil!

RICK: Okay, but no one on this plane of existence knows who you are, so... I mean, it really doesn't make a difference in the price.

MAURG: But it is a flaming axe! Observe the magic within! [IGNITES AXE]

RICK: You know every time you do that it knocks about $50 off the price, right?

MAURG: ... [EXTINGUISHES AXE]

RICK: [NARRATING] I don't know that many people who would be interested in a flaming vorpal axe, but if it looks like I can get a good price for it, I may even be able to attract a new market to the Gold & Silver Pawn Shop. That's always good for the bottom line.

RICK: I tell you what, how much are you looking to get?

MAURG: I paid 5,000,000 Gold Pieces for this from an ancient Dwarven Temple. Give me 2,500,000.

RICK: [SIGHS] I really don't know what something like this is worth; two-and-a-half million sounds a bit high. Listen, I got a buddy who knows everything about extraplanar weapons, let me give him a call, and we'll see what he says, okay?

[EXTERIOR: PARKING LOT]

SKAGGOR GIMBLEGLOVES OF WESTFORDSHIRE: My name is Skaggor Gimblegloves, I own and operate the Magick Shoppe on the interplanar vortex in Westfordshire, and whenever Rick gets something that originated on another plane, I'm the one he calls.

[INTERIOR]

RICK: Hey, Skaggor, how's it been?

SKAGGOR: Good, good. So, what do you have for me today?

RICK: Well, the customer says that it's a flaming axe of justice--

MAURG:  a double-headed +5 flaming vorpal axe of justice!

RICK: Right, and I was hoping that you could kind of give it a look, tell me what it's worth.

SKAGGOR: Sure. [EXAMINES AXE] Well, I do have some bad news: it seems that there were definitely a number of Elvish spells wound into this axe, but I'm afraid only a few are left. The spells of protection and blessing have definitely expired.

MAURG: I was not aware of that when I last used it to slice a Goblin in half.

SKAGGOR: It's definitely Dwarven craft, and good work at that. Probably made in Darkmount according to the maker's mark here.

RICK: So... it's legit?

SKAGGOR: [PAUSE FOR COMMERCIAL] Yeah, totally legit. Even in the shape it's in, it's a good piece.

MAURG: As I've been telling you all along.

RICK: So, what do you think it's worth?

SKAGGOR: I'd say... 3 million gold.

RICK: [NARRATING] Wow, this piece must really be something special. I'm really interested in it now, but I gotta play it cool, and hope that it doesn't walk out the door.

RICK: Alright, you heard what the Gnome said. How much do you want for it?

MAURG: He said 3 million...

RICK: Yeah, but look: I'll be lucky if I get 2 million out of it, and I have to pay to list it at auction, it's going to sit and take up space for a long time.... I think 1.75 million is a good price.

MAURG: I understand that you have costs, but there is truly no weapon like this in the world. It is designed to remove any enemy's head from his shoulders with the flick of a wrist.

RICK: Really?! Hey Chumlee, come here for a second!

CHUMLEE: Hey, what's up, Rick?

RICK: Stand right there for a second [DECAPITATES CHUMLEE WITH THE AXE]. Okay, I'm convinced.  How's 2.2 million sound?

MAURG: I will accept that offer.

RICK: Great, we have a deal [SHAKES MAURG'S HAND]. Let me get this mess cleaned up, and we'll go do some paperwork.